When I feel most alive … go ahead, take your shoes off!

Depending on what you think when you hear that phrase, \”hooking up\”, you might be a little skeptical about what I plan to write about. Well, it\’s about a TV show, a brand new ABC reality show that started 2 weeks ago, \”Hooking Up\” The show follows 11 women in NYC through a year of dating and looking for the right man. They find these dates online and then meet in person to date, and the show follows them through their dating adventures and experiences. Click here to read a blurb about the show on about.com

I think the show is very powerful and effective in showing us what our culture thinks about dating, and the state of men in our culture.

Here\’s what I see: The men in our American culture are not acting like real men, they are acting like women. They are passive. They want the woman to lead their dating relationships. Part of the reason this comes through in this show so much is because this show is following 11 women who are determined to find success in dating and are objectively pursuing that. While there were a few real men on the show, most of the men were these passive, wimpy men who had no guts or leadership.

A few of the dates revealed this very clearly in some of the things the women said on their dates:
\”I\’m not going to chase you. I don\’t chase after guys\”, \”I feel like I\’m the guy right now and you\’re the girl.\”, and \”Most guys are just trying to get lucky based on their picture [on their online profile]…They just want to have fun. I\’m done having fun, and I\’m not going to be their fun.\”

Here\’s what I think: Men need to learn that in dating, THEY should be the PURSUERS. They need to be going after women. They need to lead, they need to pursue, they need to initiate. They can\’t sit back and expect women to do all that hard work. It is hard. Trust me. But it\’s YOUR hard work to do, not hers.

One of the girls, Amy, when comparing one guy she dated, who just waned to have fun with another date who is seriously looking for a marriage partner, \”He\’s going for the girl… and I don\’t know if I\’m that girl or not, but I want to find out.\” That\’s it, exactly. Men need to GO FOR THE GIRL!

I know it\’s my last day in the office today

But you will be here forever, it seems, anyway

You provided a place for all my work stuff

Though a few notepads and books weren\’t quite enough

You never broke in half, you never fell

Your panels hung my Hokie flag quite well

Desk, oh desk, I will miss you

Without you, whatever will I do?

I thought I needed to apologize to all my, umm faithful readers. (I’m not sure if I actually have any faithful readers, but regardless…) Anyway the apology is to tell you I’m sorry that I’m not funny. I concede my limitations: I’m just not funny on paper (or on the e-paper either. OUCH that was terrible!)

I mean, if I were funny, I might try to use this blog to make you laugh in any manner of ways. For example, I could try to write some kind of funny made-up story:

“This morning, I walked out my front door and on the fence in the courtyard sat a frog. He told me his name was Pete, and he asked me, ’What is your favorite song?’ I told him that I love music, but before I could tell him the name of my favorite song, he exploded. Some of the green goo got on my shirt. It was pretty nasty. That’s too bad. I might have been cool to have a strange talking frog living outside my house. Rest in Peace Pete.”

But I’m just not funny, so I won’t even try. You’ll just have to deal with my serious ramblings about personal and technical things, that you may or may not find mildly interesting. If you are looking for humor, keep looking because you probably won’t find any here, unless it’s accidental. (or maybe if I quote somebody else funny. So I’m not funny, but at least I’m good looking… so I got that going for me - which is nice. (Please don’t tell me if you think I’m not, that would most definitely be not funny, but chances are you aren’t reading my blog if you think that because why would you read the blog of the ugliest person in the world? Especially if he’s not even funny!?)

Well, I tried and tried to think of some sort of funny ending for this not-so-funny post on my not-so-funny blog, but I just couldn’t. My brain started hurting and I think my head was about to implode. Anyway, I got nothing. So, this is the end. Sorry.

As of today, I think that most of my friends, except for Kelley R., have all left town. Maybe I smell bad or something? I dunno. Well regardless, I’m feeling ready to leave this state, especially since my girlfriend is in VA (but she’s coming to FL on July 29 - that’s less than 2 weeks!) Mentally, I am somewhere between FL and MD although physically, I’m stuck in Orlando. I guess these next two weeks will be a test for me: to persevere and continue on even when I’m not excited or motivated.

This very beautiful lady is my girlfriend, as of June 23rd, Liz Laslie. I can\’t believe that she is my girlfriend! It\’s so exciting and almost unreal! We have an incredible story! I\’m going to tell you just a little bit of it now:

We met in the summer of 2000, when I was on summer project in Virginia Beach with Campus Crusade. Some of my project friends and I were out playing volleyball on the beach one sunny day when a cute girl in a pink two-piece approached us and asked if she could join our game. We agreed heartily and quickly found out that her name was Liz and that she was going to be a freshman that fall at Virginia Tech (where I just happened to go to school!) As we played, she heard the music that we were playing on our CD player nearby (a Sonicflood CD) and commented that she had the same CD and asked if we were Christians. We told her all about summer project and I invited her to check out Crusade at Tech that fall and promised to invite her the first week of school. I got her email address to avoid losing touch, and we emailed a few times that summer. She actually came back to VB a few times that summer and we hung out a bit. We were fast friends. But that was just the beginning…

When I got back to school in the fall for my sophomore year, I, of course, re-connected with Liz and she came to all sorts of Crusade events that first week (her first week at Tech as a freshman) and we were becoming good friends. I could tell that this was a girl I could really get along with and enjoyed her friendship so much that it was hard to stay away. I had a few other friends who lived in the same dorm as her, so I would frequently stop by her room to hang out and talk.

That was the beginning of a friendship that would grow and teach me incredible things. I have told many people that it was through my friendship with Liz that I learned how to really be just friends with women and to treat them with kindness and respect. Through my 3 years friendship with Liz in college, I learned for the first time, how powerful and man\’s words of affirmation can be in speaking life into women\’s hearts, and the important role that men (especially single men) have to play in encouraging the women in our lives and making them feel valued and appreciated. Because, at this point, I had no romantic feelings for Liz (not \’til later!) I was freed to simply and genuinely be her friend and care about her without the distractions and confusions of romance. These were valuable times that I will cherish for the rest of my life, and wouldn\’t trade for anything.