When I feel most alive … go ahead, take your shoes off!

Depending on what you think when you hear that phrase, \”hooking up\”, you might be a little skeptical about what I plan to write about. Well, it\’s about a TV show, a brand new ABC reality show that started 2 weeks ago, \”Hooking Up\” The show follows 11 women in NYC through a year of dating and looking for the right man. They find these dates online and then meet in person to date, and the show follows them through their dating adventures and experiences. Click here to read a blurb about the show on about.com

I think the show is very powerful and effective in showing us what our culture thinks about dating, and the state of men in our culture.

Here\’s what I see: The men in our American culture are not acting like real men, they are acting like women. They are passive. They want the woman to lead their dating relationships. Part of the reason this comes through in this show so much is because this show is following 11 women who are determined to find success in dating and are objectively pursuing that. While there were a few real men on the show, most of the men were these passive, wimpy men who had no guts or leadership.

A few of the dates revealed this very clearly in some of the things the women said on their dates:
\”I\’m not going to chase you. I don\’t chase after guys\”, \”I feel like I\’m the guy right now and you\’re the girl.\”, and \”Most guys are just trying to get lucky based on their picture [on their online profile]…They just want to have fun. I\’m done having fun, and I\’m not going to be their fun.\”

Here\’s what I think: Men need to learn that in dating, THEY should be the PURSUERS. They need to be going after women. They need to lead, they need to pursue, they need to initiate. They can\’t sit back and expect women to do all that hard work. It is hard. Trust me. But it\’s YOUR hard work to do, not hers.

One of the girls, Amy, when comparing one guy she dated, who just waned to have fun with another date who is seriously looking for a marriage partner, \”He\’s going for the girl… and I don\’t know if I\’m that girl or not, but I want to find out.\” That\’s it, exactly. Men need to GO FOR THE GIRL!