When I feel most alive … go ahead, take your shoes off!

I am now officially not an employee of Campus Crusade. So \”farewell\” to all the good people there who have befriended me and made my life so interesting these last two years. Thank you! And thank you to all my supporters who gave so generously to support the work I was able to do! And thank you to everyone who prayed for me - I will still need your prayers!

Here\’s my last prayer letter from this summer, I hope you enjoy it!

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Well, I made it! I have relocated myself to Richmond, for reasons stated in previous blog entries (my girlfriend, Liz lives here) I am excited to be here, but it\’s also a little bit scary. I\’ve never just picked up and moved someplace with no idea of what I would do for a job or where I would live. I am staying in a friend\’s apartment for a few weeks until I get a job and an apartment, but it is a new thing for me to live in such a state of uncertainty. I\’m learning to not worry and to trust that God has a plan for my life, even if I can\’t see it.

The words to this Jeremy Camp song \”Walk by Faith\” have been very inspirational to me these last few months as I am living in a world of uncertainty:

\”Will I believe you when you say
Your hand will guide my every way
Will I receive the words You say
Every moment of every day

Help me to win my endless fears
You\’ve been so faithful for all my years
With the one breath You make me new
Your grace covers all I do

Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me\”

Today, January 31, 2006 was a momentous day in my life. The reason, I got a job! I am now an Account Representative / Recruiting Assistant for Mercer Staffing (Quantum Resources) in Richmond, VA. It is a great company and I look forward to becoming an integral part of the organization.

As I think back on my almost year-long job search and interview process, I realize that I have learned and grown so much. Here are just a few of them:

Persistence - how to not be afraid to pursue a job or get in touch with the people I need to speak to.
Communication - how to express my thoughts in a clear and organized fashion.
Self-knowledge - I know my own strengths and weaknesses so much better. I know more about who God made me to be and what I enjoy doing.
Patience - How to wait well for the right job and to realize that God is never late.
Resilience - How to bounce back from unpredicted changes or disappointments.
Faith - How to trust that God has a plan for my life, even when I couldn\’t see Him working, or it seemed like all was going wrong.

Praise God for His provision. I am so grateful!

I stumbled across another good podcast today: The Word Nerds - “A program about words, language, and why we say the things we do.” It’s put on by three high school teachers. It’s really an interesting show. Some of the favorite episodes I’ve listened to so far have been “Our Linguistic Pet Peeves”, “(Dis)comfort and Paralanguage”, “Snooty Foreignisms” , and “The Language of Love: Food, War, Fire.”

I have really enjoyed listening to this podcast. They hit on so many interesting distinctions and intricacies of speech and usage. If you are fascinated and interested in language and words like I am, you have to check this out.

If you have iTunes 4.9 or higher, you can subscribe to their podcast by clicking here and iTunes will automatically download each new episode (every Sunday night) and will automatically sync it to your iPod if you want it to.

So check it out!

I was reading in the book “The Heart of Mentoring” by David A. Stoddard today and came across this:

Regardless of age, most people look to their work to provide esteem, significance, and accomplishment. We each have an innate need to work. In mentoring young people, however, I have discovered that career is an even bigger issue for them because they are just starting out. Vocationally, they begin with a clean slate, and sometimes uncertainty about what they really are designed to do leads to a parade of trials — and errors. They want to know how to get established in their life’s vocation. But it’s more than finding a job that provides a sufficient level of financial compensation; they also want to do something that gives them a sense of meaning and fulfillment.

What we’re talking about is something I like to call passion, which one dictionary defines as ’strong feeling, either sustained or passing, for or about something or somebody.’ Another says passion is ‘a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything.’

He makes a really good point a few paragraphs later, that really struck me,

just because someone is good at what they are doing vocationally, that does not mean it fulfills their passion.

This hits home especially for me, because I feel like I am good at almost anything I put effort into, but I am not passionate about everything. I agree with his first statement that young people especially want to find a vocation where they can exercise their passion, not just make money. I don’t want a job where I hate my work and am not passionate about it. I want to work in a job I am excited about and passionate about. It’s not good enough for me to just have a job.

In the wake of a job interview that wasn’t all that great, and a job search that is seeming to yield no tangible results (no job offers yet), I have been humbled this week.

I am realizing that I am not “all that.” Sure, I walk into offices each week to interview with some potential employer and tell them how I am “all that” and more and why they should hire me (and I’m not lying about ANY of those things), but when you get right down to it, everything I do have has been given to me by God, and everything I will have in the future will come from Him. And that is humbling.

It is by God’s grace that He will provide me with a job and take care of me. I take comfort and trust in the truth of these verses:

Jeremiah 29:11 - “For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

2 Chronicles 16:9 - “For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.”

2 Corinthians 12:9,10 - “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

I know it sounds a little wierd, but xxxchurch.com says it is the #1 Christian Porn Site. Before you start to wonder what is wrong with me, they don’t give out porn, that’s just the subject of the site. The site was started by two pastors who have a vision for letting people know the dangers of porn and what God thinks about porn. It is not some sort of hate-site, but they are befriending people in the porn industry (producers, porn-stars) and sharing Christ with those people as well as the dangers of porn.

The reason I am posting about it is because they have a new radio show podcast that you can subscribe to on iTunes. They have had 4 episodes and they come out ever Wednesday with a new episode.

From their website, they describe the show like this:

Dirty Little Secrets with Craig and Mike
Explicit Talk About Relevant Truth

The show will consist of hard hitting interviews with special guests, call ins, traffic and weather from Junior and Rob, and a segment called “questions you can’t ask your mama” where Mike and Craig answer a hot topic question sent via the web.

Part bullhorn of truth, part pop culture lesson, and part spiritual quest, Dirty Little Secrets will introduce you to two of the most engaging if irreverent men-of-the-cloth to ever take religious vows. It’ll entertain and inspire. It will challenge people to engage in real issues and to be aware of what is truly important.

Hosted with disarming humility, self-deprecating humor and uncommon frankness, Dirty Little Secrets will shock you and school you, move you and rock you, no matter what you think about sex, free speech, the Almighty, or whether Jesus really does love porn stars as much as he loves pastors.

I encourage you to check it out, but be aware that this is not the typical, “family-friendly” Christian radio broadcast. Not that it is in any way obscene, they just talk about issues like sex, pornography, and Jesus, without shame. I think we need people like this, Christians, who aren’t pretending that people aren’t struggling with these things, and aren’t afraid to talk about them. It’s unfortunate that most Christian radio stations would never air anything like this because they are “family-friendly” but in the family is exactly where these problems exist and need to be addressed! We need parents and teens listening to stuff like this, becoming more aware of the dangers of porn and what they can do to protect their eyes and hearts, and be encouraged to love God more, and to love the world, but not be of the world.

As Liz and I have been looking for a church in the Richmond area, we have been going for several weeks to KingsWay Community Church, a church in the Sovereign Grace Ministries family of churches.

One neat thing that I really like about this family of churches is that they are committed to creating new music for use in worship through the gifts talented song-writers in the church. This means that I am unfamiliar with almost all of the songs as I visit this church for a few Sundays. I know some of them because I went to a similar church when I lived in Orlando last year, Metro Life Church which was also a Sovereign Grace Ministries church. But still, most of the songs are new to me.

But interestingly, singing these new songs have made my worship much more alive. I have felt free to look at God in ways other than the same songs I am used to singing or have sung for years. These new songs are challenging me to worship God in a new way, to celebrate His wonder and grace and gifts in new words, with new melodies, and new attitudes in my heart.

I like it! And I think God is pleased as well, because as it says in Psalm 33:2-3 - “Praise the LORD with the harp; make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre. Sing to him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy”, Psalm 40:1-3 - “I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD.” , and Psalm 144:9 - “I will sing a new song to you, O God; on the ten-stringed lyre I will make music to you”.

I think it is important for us to always be singing new songs to the Lord. It helps us to not get too familiar in how we are worshipping God. When we get too familiar with the same order of worship, words, songs, and prayers, I think our minds and hearts begin to disengage and we don’t connect with God in worship in Spirit in truth. A new song brings freshness and newness to our worship of God, and an eagerness for the Spirit to work in new ways in our lives. Let’s not stop writing and singing new songs of worship!

I think I’m pretty good under pressure. I have found interviews to be fun, even thought most people would feel a lot of stress in an environment with that kind of pressure. I enjoy it. I like proving why I’m good for a job and having to think on my feet. It’s a challenge that I enjoy. I actually think I’m starting to like interviewing and might be getting kind of good at it. Who knew?

I was interviewed by 5 different people for various jobs in the last week. Pretty crazy, eh? Hopefully I will get one of those jobs! If my interviewers thought the interviews went as well as I thought they did, then it’s quite likely!

It’s been an exciting week.

That is how I have been feeling recently. A few days after my last blog entry, I found out that I did not get the job I interviewed for that week, and that I has hoped to get so much. I felt so out of control, like I couldn’t get anything to work out for me. None of my plans seemed to be working out. There was a day last week where I was afraid that none of my dreams or hopes in life would ever happen. It was really, really hard, and scary. I found myself, in my mind, asking ridiculous questions like “Has God abandoned me?”, “Does God love me and even want me to be happy?”, “Will I ever find a job and a place to live?”, “Will I ever see anything I dream for in life?” Thankfully, the Holy Spirit in me and others who love me thoroughly convinced me that indeed God does love me and have a good plan for my life.

But anyway, I started re-reading a really good book today “Encouragement: The Key to Caring” by Larry Crabb, and I was thinking back on why I was so afraid before. I connected with something he said.
[He was talking about encouragement and how God is so often in the Bible telling people not to be afraid over and over again.]

Why does the Bible place this emphasis on fear? As I contemplate the predicament of mankind and the reasons for reacting to it as we do, it seems clear to me that the governing emotional energy in the unregenerate human personality is fear. Our problems are really quite beyond our capacity to solve. We cannot control what matters most to us. The plans we make will work nicely only if factors beyond our control do not interfere. Our lives ultimately are not in our hands. So with good reason we fear what might happen.

But I found myself feeling very *not afraid* after being encouraged to “be not afraid” by my parents and by Liz after wrestling with those questions. I think the song “Out of Control” by John Rueben sums up nicely

Check it out
What I needed to hear
Wasn’t coming in clear
And what I now know
Is only partial info
I speak over tempo
To put words into motion
You can’t stay stagnant
With the future that’s approaching
So wouldn’t you stand
It’s either break or be broken
Forget dry land
I’d rather stand in the ocean
And let the waves of devotion
Roll over me
Irony
I had to suffocate
Before I could breathe

Now I’m in a head space
I’ve never been before
Ever since my feet hit the shore
I tell ya boy
It feels good
So give me some more
I say
It feels good

Well it’s a bit passionate for your radio
But that’s alright though
It’s good for your soul
And it feels good to be out of control
I said
It feels good to be out of control

Now wait that’s something
Adrenaline rushing
And I’m touching
The heart of God
And adjusting
Rather nice lead to the feeling
That’s inside of me
Alive in me
Continually guiding me
It’s surprising me
It’s beyond my reach
But it’s in my grasp
I walk steadfast
Along a narrow path
Avoiding stairs and traps
And all else that seems to keep me
From who I need to be
Right now I’m thinking clearly

And I’m in a head space
I’ve never been before
Ever since my feet hit the shore
I tell ya ha
It feels good
So give me some more
I say
It feels good

It does feel good to be out of control. Now that I know that God has things under control, even if I can’t see what His plan is, I know that He knows it and won’t fail. So I say, give me some more!

A few months ago I was reading a book “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. I came across this section on finding your life’s work:

Finding your life’s work involves taking risks. First you need to firmly establish your identity, separating yourself from those you are attached to and following your desires. You must take ownership of how you feel, how you think, and what you want. You must assess your talents and limitations. And then you must begin to step out as God leads you.
For God wants you to discover and use your gifts to his glory. He asks only that include him in the process: “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this” (Ps. 37:4-5).
God also, however, calls you to be accountable for what you do: “Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgment” (Eccl. 11:9)
As you develop your talents, look at your work as a partnership between you and God. He has given you gifts, and he wants you to develop them. Commit your way to the Lord, and you will find your work identity. Ask him to help.

Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend – Boundaries pp. 206- 207

It spoke to my heart and encouraged me a lot. I think I’m doing or learning to do some of these things. But it’s scary to take risks. This boundary stuff requires so much risk and responsibility! Something inside me is screaming, “No! Just sit back and let things happen.” but I know that isn’t good for me. I must be pro-active about finding it.

What is encouraging to me is that it is a process that God is involved in with me. He wants me to make this wonderful discovery of how He wants to best use my talents and gifts to His glory.

I am learning to include God in this process. It’s easy to drift into thinking that this whole job search thing is totally on my shoulders and I have no help, but in fact, God is holding my hand and leading me the whole way. I am learning to pray about even the little things in the job search, to invite God to work in them.

I have an interview for a job today that I am excited about at 3 PM. Pray with me that if this would be the job that God has for me that everything would go well and that I would get the job. Pray that in the interview I would represent myself, my skills, my talents, and even my weaknesses in a fair, accurate manner and not sell myself short. Pray that my nervousness and anxiousness would not cause me to inaccurately represent the kind of worker and asset that I would be to their company. Pray that the interviewer would have grace for me and would see through any nervousness to the real me, and want to hire me.

God is sovereign and He will provide. Trust Him with me!

Depending on what you think when you hear that phrase, \”hooking up\”, you might be a little skeptical about what I plan to write about. Well, it\’s about a TV show, a brand new ABC reality show that started 2 weeks ago, \”Hooking Up\” The show follows 11 women in NYC through a year of dating and looking for the right man. They find these dates online and then meet in person to date, and the show follows them through their dating adventures and experiences. Click here to read a blurb about the show on about.com

I think the show is very powerful and effective in showing us what our culture thinks about dating, and the state of men in our culture.

Here\’s what I see: The men in our American culture are not acting like real men, they are acting like women. They are passive. They want the woman to lead their dating relationships. Part of the reason this comes through in this show so much is because this show is following 11 women who are determined to find success in dating and are objectively pursuing that. While there were a few real men on the show, most of the men were these passive, wimpy men who had no guts or leadership.

A few of the dates revealed this very clearly in some of the things the women said on their dates:
\”I\’m not going to chase you. I don\’t chase after guys\”, \”I feel like I\’m the guy right now and you\’re the girl.\”, and \”Most guys are just trying to get lucky based on their picture [on their online profile]…They just want to have fun. I\’m done having fun, and I\’m not going to be their fun.\”

Here\’s what I think: Men need to learn that in dating, THEY should be the PURSUERS. They need to be going after women. They need to lead, they need to pursue, they need to initiate. They can\’t sit back and expect women to do all that hard work. It is hard. Trust me. But it\’s YOUR hard work to do, not hers.

One of the girls, Amy, when comparing one guy she dated, who just waned to have fun with another date who is seriously looking for a marriage partner, \”He\’s going for the girl… and I don\’t know if I\’m that girl or not, but I want to find out.\” That\’s it, exactly. Men need to GO FOR THE GIRL!

I know it\’s my last day in the office today

But you will be here forever, it seems, anyway

You provided a place for all my work stuff

Though a few notepads and books weren\’t quite enough

You never broke in half, you never fell

Your panels hung my Hokie flag quite well

Desk, oh desk, I will miss you

Without you, whatever will I do?

I thought I needed to apologize to all my, umm faithful readers. (I’m not sure if I actually have any faithful readers, but regardless…) Anyway the apology is to tell you I’m sorry that I’m not funny. I concede my limitations: I’m just not funny on paper (or on the e-paper either. OUCH that was terrible!)

I mean, if I were funny, I might try to use this blog to make you laugh in any manner of ways. For example, I could try to write some kind of funny made-up story:

“This morning, I walked out my front door and on the fence in the courtyard sat a frog. He told me his name was Pete, and he asked me, ’What is your favorite song?’ I told him that I love music, but before I could tell him the name of my favorite song, he exploded. Some of the green goo got on my shirt. It was pretty nasty. That’s too bad. I might have been cool to have a strange talking frog living outside my house. Rest in Peace Pete.”

But I’m just not funny, so I won’t even try. You’ll just have to deal with my serious ramblings about personal and technical things, that you may or may not find mildly interesting. If you are looking for humor, keep looking because you probably won’t find any here, unless it’s accidental. (or maybe if I quote somebody else funny. So I’m not funny, but at least I’m good looking… so I got that going for me - which is nice. (Please don’t tell me if you think I’m not, that would most definitely be not funny, but chances are you aren’t reading my blog if you think that because why would you read the blog of the ugliest person in the world? Especially if he’s not even funny!?)

Well, I tried and tried to think of some sort of funny ending for this not-so-funny post on my not-so-funny blog, but I just couldn’t. My brain started hurting and I think my head was about to implode. Anyway, I got nothing. So, this is the end. Sorry.

As of today, I think that most of my friends, except for Kelley R., have all left town. Maybe I smell bad or something? I dunno. Well regardless, I’m feeling ready to leave this state, especially since my girlfriend is in VA (but she’s coming to FL on July 29 - that’s less than 2 weeks!) Mentally, I am somewhere between FL and MD although physically, I’m stuck in Orlando. I guess these next two weeks will be a test for me: to persevere and continue on even when I’m not excited or motivated.

This very beautiful lady is my girlfriend, as of June 23rd, Liz Laslie. I can\’t believe that she is my girlfriend! It\’s so exciting and almost unreal! We have an incredible story! I\’m going to tell you just a little bit of it now:

We met in the summer of 2000, when I was on summer project in Virginia Beach with Campus Crusade. Some of my project friends and I were out playing volleyball on the beach one sunny day when a cute girl in a pink two-piece approached us and asked if she could join our game. We agreed heartily and quickly found out that her name was Liz and that she was going to be a freshman that fall at Virginia Tech (where I just happened to go to school!) As we played, she heard the music that we were playing on our CD player nearby (a Sonicflood CD) and commented that she had the same CD and asked if we were Christians. We told her all about summer project and I invited her to check out Crusade at Tech that fall and promised to invite her the first week of school. I got her email address to avoid losing touch, and we emailed a few times that summer. She actually came back to VB a few times that summer and we hung out a bit. We were fast friends. But that was just the beginning…

When I got back to school in the fall for my sophomore year, I, of course, re-connected with Liz and she came to all sorts of Crusade events that first week (her first week at Tech as a freshman) and we were becoming good friends. I could tell that this was a girl I could really get along with and enjoyed her friendship so much that it was hard to stay away. I had a few other friends who lived in the same dorm as her, so I would frequently stop by her room to hang out and talk.

That was the beginning of a friendship that would grow and teach me incredible things. I have told many people that it was through my friendship with Liz that I learned how to really be just friends with women and to treat them with kindness and respect. Through my 3 years friendship with Liz in college, I learned for the first time, how powerful and man\’s words of affirmation can be in speaking life into women\’s hearts, and the important role that men (especially single men) have to play in encouraging the women in our lives and making them feel valued and appreciated. Because, at this point, I had no romantic feelings for Liz (not \’til later!) I was freed to simply and genuinely be her friend and care about her without the distractions and confusions of romance. These were valuable times that I will cherish for the rest of my life, and wouldn\’t trade for anything.

That’s where I was yesterday! Yup, you got it, Disney World! I went to Disney MGM Studios with some students from the Orlando Summer Project. It was a blast, and it certainly was happy! My favorite thing might have been the Beauty and the Beast live cast performance. OK, I know that’s pretty sad, but I like musicals and they really did put on a good show!

Well, that’s all I have time for today. Staffing OSP makes for a real busy life.

On my \”day off\” today, I watched two of my favorite movies: About a Boy, and 50 First Dates.

I wrote about both of these movies last summer with some interesting reflections on the deeper meaning behind them. (click on the titles above to read my thoughts)

Anyway, since I recently enjoyed those movies, I thought I would bring those things back up, in case you never saw them the first time I wrote them!

I know I was a bit slow in getting my April monthly update out but it has been a crazy few months. Summer Project begins this week and the students will be arriving on Wednesday! Please pray for safe transportation for every student involved in OSP to Orlando this week! Enjoy my latest update!

Damien: “Scott, is there some reason your car is parked in the place it is??”
Scott: [walks outside and sees his car 20 feet back from where he parked it the night before] “Umm… I have no idea!”

So it turns out that somehow I was able to stop my car in my parking spot and stop the engine and take out my key with the car still in drive. Ridiculous!!

Ned: Can’t we just do this later? I mean, you know how he gets in the morning.
Girlfriend: Ned, aren’t you tired of letting people push you around?
Ned: Yes.
Girlfriend: Then get in there and do it.

They then kick Dewey (shown left, played by Jack Black) out of their house. Thus Dewey’s days of mooching off his pushover friend Ned, having no job, and playing in a failing rock band come to an end and he is faced with real life. Even though he claims that “I serve our society by rocking… I’m out there on the frontlines liberating people with my music. Rockin’ aint no walk in the park!”, he knows rockin’ doesn’t pay the rent, so he’s forced to get a job as a school music teacher… at the “School of Rock”!If you haven’t seen the movie, check it out! It’s awesome!

I’ve made it so hard on myself, turning my back on how You felt
Seeing a lie that led me on, leaving a love that did no wrong
That’s what it took for me to say

That You simply love
Despite all the stupid things I’ve done
It’s hard to remember
That You simply love
Even though I know not what I’ve done
It’s hard to remember
That You simply love

I’ve tried to do all this on my own
Not thinking once of what You’ve shown
All that I’ve done has blinded me
To everything that You have for me
I want You to know that I finally see

I don’t know why I can’t understand
I don’t know why I can’t comprehend

These are the words to a Pillar song called “Simply”. I really like this song, and I feel like I can often relate to it. Sometimes I just do stupid things, and it’s so hard to remember that God simply loves me, even though I have wronged him in such great ways.

I am so thankful for God’s love, in spite of my stupidity! He’s so good!

Oh, that this love would drive me to joyful obedience!

I’m almost 1,000 miles overdue for my getting my oil changed!

You are probably wondering why I haven’t posted to my blog in like a month. Well I’m not dead, if that’s what you were hoping! (Besides I don’t really have much money for anyone to get from my death… I do have an iPod though! .. I can picture the relatives fighting over it .. while I lay dead with a big grin on my face)

I have been very busy, mostly trying to figure out what I want to do next year, and find potential jobs. Let me tell you, job search is HARD WORK! I feel like I am working two jobs. In the morning, I wake up and head to the office to do web development for Crusade. Then I come home and spend 4 hours or so searching for jobs online, writing cover letters, retouching my resume, writing emails to contacts, and sending my resume out, etc… It is pretty tough work. So I have found very little time for blogging, unfortunately.

I will try to be more regular about writing again, but until the end of July, I will be going strong in the job search, unless God provides something out of the blue for me before then! Please pray for me! That I would trust God with my career decisions and follow where He is leading me! Thanks!

A topic that has been on my mind recently is mentoring. I started a book this week called “The Heart of Mentoring: Ten Proven Principles For Developing People to Their Fullest Potential” by David A. Stoddard.

I am really excited about what this book has to say. In the preface the author writes,

“As we walk through these pages together, I hope to convince you that there is really only one type of person in this world: the person who need to be a “mentored mentor.” I have concluded that each of us need mentoring and we also need to mentor others. The people I know who are getting the most out of life — and putting the most back into it — are those who are committed to this mutual mentoring process. This is where true fulfillment lies. Indeed, I have found that this is one of the greatest joys you can experience. I invite you to join me on this journey!”

I feel like I will benefit so much from it, since I am going to be a mentor this summer for several college students on Summer Project here in Orlando on OSP (Orlando Summer Project). It’s like a normal Crusade summer project except that instead of going to somewhere exotic like Virginia Beach (where I spent the summer of 2000 on a summer project) about 50 students from around the country will come to Orlando to work at headquarters (instead of places like Subway) to get some experience in their field of study (examples: computer science, graphic design, accounting/finance…) and they will have bible studies, praise and worship meetings, social events, outreaches and all the other typical things you would do on a summer project. As a OSP staff member, I will probably have a small group of guys that I will be mentoring in some fashion for the summer. I hope that I can learn a lot from this book to be able to better serve and help them.

The other way in which I hope to gain from this is obviously as someone who is mentored. Currently I have been working with Todd, who is also sort of my boss, to work through some of the New Staff Development materials that they ask the interns to go through while they are working for Crusade. But I think we both see our relationship as being more than just “coaching” or just working through some material.

In the introduction the author tells a story of a young man, Kyle, who tries to find a mentor but it just doesn’t work out because the mentor didn’t really understand what Kyle wanted, and Kyle didn’t know how to tell him what he really was looking to gain from that mentoring relationship.

“In seeking a mentor, Kyle wasn’t just wanting information. he was looking for a helpful relationship, for someone who could provide a road map — or a compass of sorts — to show him how to find his way in the chaotic world around him. Kyle wanted answers for the everyday struggles he was facing in both his personal and professional life.”

I can relate to Kyle. Those are the things that I, too, want in a mentor. I am so thankful that Todd understands that and wants to be that kind of mentor. And I really respect him and have already learned so much from him. Hopefully this book will aid me in really making the most of my relationship with Todd, or any other person like him that I might have a mentoring relationship with in the future!

If you are interested in mentoring, let me know! I would love to talk about it with you!

Check out this new story about American Idol (one of my TV obsessions) (passed on to me by one of my teammates, thanks Irene!) It seems one of the contestants, Scott Savol, was once arrested for domestic violence. The news story gave more details about what happened.

I’m not surprised that he is not disqualified from the competition. I mean when has America ever really cared whether their Idols real lives are moral and good? Look at the people who have once been “American idols” and how they have turned out! Bill Clinton, Michael Jackson, O.J. Simpson, and many others! How many rappers, pro football players, actors have been arrested for breaking laws? Too many!

If anything, this might make him more qualified to be an American Idol (In a sick, backwards kind of way, of course)! America’s music world and culture has never really made morality or goodness a qualification for pop stardom, just talent and sexiness. I don’t really expect them to start now. And to really be nit-picky, I suppose if we were to go digging into all of the competitors pasts, we could find things that they have done that are wrong or immoral or bad, things that they probably regret.

Even if American Idol isn’t just about singing and looking good, is it fair or right to hold Scott’s past against him in this competition, just because his past happened to make the news for America to hear?

I think NOT.

We don’t know how he feels about his past. Maybe he’s really sorry about what he did. I hope that this news story, in an attempt to get attention (in the media’s typical news fashion of digging up all possible dirt on everyone involved) doesn’t ruin his chances at becoming American Idol by unfairly showing him in a negative light where they haven’t shown the other contestants. It adds a bias against him where we have no information on the other contestants’ lives. We shouldn’t hold it against him, only how well or poorly he performs and sings.

Just as a disclaimer, please do NOT think that I am in any way saying that I think domestic abuse is OK or should not be punished. I am totally and completely against it, and men who do such things make me sick. But what I am saying is that it is unfair for the media to run such a story that will unfairly represent a contestant in such a competition. And it is unfair for us to see one such piece of information about only ONE contestant’s bad past, and to decide to let that sway our vote against him in favor of other contestants who we know EVEN LESS about!

Give Scott the benefit of the doubt. Vote for him based on his singing and performing, not his past actions that you don’t really know anything about! Do the right thing even though the media hasn’t. Shame on you media.

EDIT 4/1: I found on the Entertainment Weekly site an article with this quote:

Fox issued a statement saying that Savol would stay. “Scott Savol was forthcoming to the American Idol producers and the network regarding his misdemeanor,'’ the statement read. ‘’After reviewing the facts, in which the charges were reduced to disorderly conduct, we felt that considering Scott’s honesty and his remorse, the situation did not warrant his disqualification.”

So they say in this one, where the other selectively quoted the FOX statement, that it was because of his honesty AND remorse, so we know that he is remorseful. I’m somewhat pleasantly surprised that FOX even cared that he was remorseful, although, I guess this is a family show?

I guess the point that this makes to me is that American Idol, although it claims to, doesn’t REALLY represent the real dynamics and values of the real pop star culture these days. It’s too honest, too virtuous, too family friendly. But then again, maybe this shows a change in pop culture these days. But, most likely, and unfortunately, not. Once the American Idol wannabe winner becomes a real idol, no one will probably care whether he or she is a big jerk, only whether his or her music is fun, sounds good, and makes people happy.

I hope I have challenged you and I have convinced you not to let this sway your vote against him and to not encourage others to either. He deserves this chance, and he is probably hoping that he can finally put his past behind him. We owe it to him to be fair in our voting America!

Here is my February update. I am leaving for Big Break tomorrow! A week at the beach sounds good to me! Pray that God would do great things in and through me! I’m looking forward to: fellowship with my fellow interns and the several hundred college student involved in Cru that will be at the conference, playing volleyball on the beach, sharing my faith with beach-goers on spring break, being close to God in times of corporate worship, and just having FUN!

I recently discovered a new technology called podcasting. For those who might be reading this and don’t really get all this technology stuff, here is a summary of what podcasting is:

Basically, people record audio-shows (called podcasts) that they then put on the Internet to be heard by anyone, for free. Then I can use some software on my computer (called podcatching software) to automatically download these audio-broadcasts in MP3 format and have them automatically transferred to my iPod overnight so I can listen to them whenever I want the next day. It’s pretty much radio on demand.

This is only important because until today, I had not thought that maybe I could actually be a creator of audio content, until I found an article talking about www.audioblogger.com. Through this site, I have a number to call on my cell phone and I can just talk into it like I am leaving a voicemail, and it will save it into MP3 format and post it as an entry to my blog for all to listen.

So this is my first audio blog entry! Have a listen. I recorded it as I walked from my desk to my car after work this evening. If the audio seems kind of shaky, it’s because I’m walking as I talk. Enjoy! Maybe I’ll post some more audio entries sometime soon.

I pulled up to McDonald’s drive-thru today (I know it’s sad, but I didn’t feel like anything else), and some dude steps up to my car and asks me “What can I get you?” Seems a bit odd to you doesn’t it? Well it’s the latest fad in customer service seemingly, and this well-mannered McDonald’s employee was armed with his Palm (or some kind of handheld computer), and ready to take my order and transmit it to the computers inside the restaurant. Then when I pulled up to the payment window, there’s another guy standing outside of that window who walks up to my car window and says “Hi. $3.04, right?” And I’m like “Yup!” and I hesitantly hand him my debit card to take to the person behind the window to process my transaction. He brings it back and I pull forward to get my food and head on my way.

I guess it sped-up the service, since there were two of them out there walking down the line of cars at the drive-thru, taking orders, so we didn’t all wait to use the normal drive-thru microphone system. And, I think they are trying to give employees more hours since for a few weeks this McDonald’s is drive-thru only since they are renovating the inside (except for the kitchen).

But even if there weren’t any great time-saving, efficiency boosting reasons , I felt more appreciated, and maybe that sounds dumb. I mean, we are talking about McDonald’s here! But hey , who cares, why not?

I applied for the job of Mac Genius this week with 3 Apple Retail Stores in the N. VA, MD area. It is almost the ideal job for me, but the biggest downside that I can see right now is that I would have to work mall hours (evenings and weekends) since all the Apple Stores are in malls. But other than that, I would get to do some of my favorite things: fix people’s Macs and help them learn to use them better, teach others, constantly learn about new technology, serve people, work with Apple Computers, and interact with people (vs. sitting at a computer all day).

I will be talking to a recruiter hopefully soon to get some answers to my questions about hours and other things like salary.

I would really LOVE to work for Apple. But I can’t seem to get past the problem of hours. Unfortunately, this might not be the best job for me. I will continue looking for other opportunities elsewhere to do similar kinds of jobs.

Let me know if you have any ideas!

Remember those old books from when we were kids called “Choose Your Own Adventure”? Well, I remember them even if you don’t! Stop laughing at me now.

Anyway, I wanted to play a little game called “Choose Scotty’s Own Adventure”

Here’s how it is played: I give you a bunch of choices and you tell me which one you like best (or feel free to suggest some of your own) (via comments or email).

Let the Adventure Begin:

Scott is halfway through his internship at Crusade Headquarters in Orlando, FL and has to begin considering what in the world to do with his life once September 2005 hits.

Should he: (choices listed in no particular order)

A. Go on staff with Campus Crusade for Christ to reach crazy psycho college students?
B. Work at Hardee’s flipping monster thickburgers until he pays of his million dollars in college loans at the rate of $7 an hour?
C. Get a job at Apple selling cool stuff like iPods and Mac minis or writing cool software for Mac OS X?
D. Move to NY, speak in a scratchy voice, get involved in organized crime and go by “Slick Scotty”?
E. Move in with his parents until he’s about 40?
F. Get his own reality TV show and do whatever he wants just because he can?
G. Never shave again and get in the Guiness Book of World Records?
H. Live in the Home section of Walmart, live off chicken samples, and stow away in people’s cars to get places?
I. ??????????????????????????

Make your choice!

When Apple announced the new iPod Shuffle it used some clever advertising humor. For those who just don’t know any better, they thought it would be best to put a minor disclaimer on their webpage for the iPod Shuffle. (They took it off the website now)

“2. Do not eat iPod Shuffle”

Whew!!! I am so glad….. I was actually considering eating one!

Apparently this guy was thinking the same thing: (and he wrote a fun poem about it) Read it here: “I Ate iPod Shuffle”

I was going to put this on my other blog (the nerdy one) but I thought it wasn’t quite nerdy enough to make it over there. There aren’t enough esoteric words used in the blog entry, it’s not hard enough to understand what in the world I’m talking about, and it’s really funny, so why not? I mean, if you think about it, this entry is really just about food, and I talk about food all the time, and everyone loves food. So it’s totally normal!

In conclusion, let me know if you have an iPod Shuffle and whether or not you have tried to eat it. I’m interested to hear how that has worked out for you!

Here is my December/January Update! It is a little late, but interesting nonetheless!

A few weeks ago, I did something that I have never done before in my life. I went to a professional wrestling match. It was AWESOME!!!

Justin and I went to Universal Studios at 6pm after work for the taping of the TNA: Total Non-Stop Action Wrestling show IMPACT! They tape two shows at a time every other week. IMPACT! airs on FOX Sports every week. So we were on TV!

It was pretty fun! We did alot of screaming and cheering, even if we had no idea who those crazy looking wrestlers were. The crowd really got into it at points, even taunting their least favorite wrestlers as they tried to brag to the audience after a match with chants like “Get your hat, your coat, and leave” and “Boring! Boring!”

If you are ever in Orlando for a vacation, you should check out IMPACT! It’s a fun time for the whole family!

Fallen Angel putting a hurtin’
on A.J. Styles!

Last week, Todd, Justin, and I went to Hardee’s for the Monster Thickburger. It was sort of an unspoken agreement that if we were real men, we would be able to finish off this 2/3 lbs. of beef with additional cheese and bacon, the fries and soda.


The “Nutrition” Facts of my meal.

Calories: 2391.94
Calories from Fat: 1131.92
Total Fat: 125.76 g
Saturated Fat: 49.65 g
Cholesterol: 229.55 g
Sodium: 3070.73 g
Carboyhdrates: 257.39 g
Protien: 69.8g

We called it the “Heart-stopping lunch” and I think we all half-expected to drop dead after the meal! We didn’t, thankfully, but we did all finish the meal, even though we were totally stuffed at the end of it! I didn’t eat much else that day! It was worth it. And the burger was incredible!

So at Matt’s wedding, I wore a tuxedo for the first time. to be honest I REALLY liked it. I have never felt so expensive in my life. I wouldn’t mind wearing one of those everyday. Especially since they make those shoes SO comfortable. Only, I doubt it would be very appropriate for the office, considering everyone else wears business casual (khakis and buttoned shirts)

Here is a great picture of Leila and I at the reception. It was a beautiful wedding and reception! I was honored to be a part of it and send them into marriage right!


Don’t we look cute?

Apparently, President George W. Bush uses an iPod. He likes to listen to music when he rides his bike. According to the photographer of this photo essay (view the last 4 pictures), Christopher Morris, he was listening to “Brown Eyed Girl” by Van Morrison.

I think it’s pretty sweet that Pres. Bush has an iPod. I mean, if I were rich (more like, if I even had a few hundred dollars) I would have one too! But I’ll get behind any President smart enough to know that the best music player on the planet is an iPod.

So I got some new headphones this week because I needed some new ones for listening to music at work. The ones I have are kinda dying. So I went to Best Buy since I had a gift certificate for $20 and looked around. I came home with this Sony in-ear model, and I’m pretty happy with them. They are inside the ear, so they put out really good sound, and unbeleivable bass, that normal outside-the-ear headphones can’t accomplish. They are great! And comfortable too!

Only one problem, the warranty is very LIMITED, as it says, “This warranty does not cover cosmetic damage or damage due to acts of God, accident, misuse, abuse, negligence, commercial use, or modification of, or to any part of the Product.”

I guess if God decides to make my headphones stop working, I will have to buy a new pair, oh well! I have had at least 20 different pairs of headphones throughout my life. What’s one more?

Today, January 5 marks 4 months of Leila and I dating. I think this might be the longest dating relationship I have ever been involved in. It is really exciting to be in a wonderful relationship with such a wonderful girl. I hope I don’t mess it up and get dumped!

She is coming down here with Jocie and Ethan January 18th so I look forward to that, but for now, we are back to the long-distance thing. It could be tough this spring when we won’t get to be together for several months at a time!

Anyway, I just wanted to use this space to thank God for blessing me with a wonderful girlfriend!

My best Christmas present was dinner out at Texas Roadhouse with Leila. She decided to surprise me by taking me out there and buying me the biggest steak I could order. It was incredible. I didn’t even know there was a Texas Roadhouse in Maryland (it’s in Westminster if you are curious) but we had some great food and a wonderful time!

I am so thankful for Leila and that she knows what I like. As sad as it is, it’s true. FOOD is something I like alot, and for her to buy me dinner at my favorite restaraunt was an EXCELLENT Christmas gift! Way to go!

As an added bonus, she had NEVER been to Texas Roadhouse and this was her first time. She loved it! How can anyone not?

Well folks, the holidays came and went, and I came and went. I’m back in Florida now, so if you missed me when I was in Maryland, sorry about that! I had a great time seeing family and friends, and spending time with Leila, but I guess I do have a job for some reason, and I should probably get back to it!

Interesting story… I was at Matt’s wedding this weekend and, in a pleasant turn of events John Boggs, my roomate, showed up at the wedding with Andy, Lauren, and Carissa (my STINT teammates from last year in North Africa). But when I returned last night he told me a funny story that happened to him during Matt’s wedding reception. I will retell it here, and if it isn’t funny enough for you, then go to him and ask him to tell it! You’re sure to get a laugh.

So, to start, Boggsy was sick. He had a sore throat and hadn’t been feeling well for the last few days. Also, he had just been in the car all day and stuck in bad traffic most of it, as they were tryig to make it to the wedding (in Virginia Beach) on time from Pennsylvania.

So you can imagine that John is a little bit out of it as he walks over to the drink table to refill his cup of punch. After filling it up to the top, a nice old lady, presumably one of Matt or Beca’s (the groom and bride) grandparents, walks up to him and says something like “How kind of you young man!” and with a smile proceeds to take his cup from his hand and walk away with it as if he had filled it for her!

Before he has a chance to think and realize what happened, she has slipped into the large crowd at the reception and he has lost her and his cup (which he had been drinking from already and leaving his sick germs in as well) After he overcomes the shock of this sweet old lady stealing his cup and realizing he had just let her walk away with it and all of his sick germs, he fills a new cup for himself and sits back down at his table.

I told him he better pray that his germs don’t end that old lady’s life! (In fact they had already killed one living being that day, a dog in the middle of Interstate 64 that was pulverized by their front bumper, but that’s another story!)

So tonight we went to a Christmas party for the law firm that Leila got a job as a law clerk for the semester (she starts work Monday). It was a fun party, and I enjoyed the people there, but there were several things about the evening that just made it a little humorous for me.

First, it was at the nicest restaurant in downtown Ellicott City, Jordan’s Steakhouse. (To make it clear, let’s just say that a few years ago I walked by the restaraunt and thought to myself “That looks like a great place to take a date out for dinner!” .. it has great atmosphere, the menu was full of good food, but when I caught the prices on the menu on the door, I wanted to throw up. The only way I would be coming here for dinner on my supported missionary salary is if I win the lottery, in two states.)

Second, the first thing the server asked me after we arrived was what kind of wine did I want? (It was a stand-up, mingle, eat food from the buffet of hors d’oeuvres and lots of random foods so we were never seated at a table) Now, I have no problem with wine. In fact, I kind of like wine, and I had some, but the reason this is a bad sign for me is that I am not used to the very sophisticated, classy setting that this was unfolding to be. Not that I have no manners, but I have never really been around the kind of people that can afford to drink wine all around and have a meal of fancy hors d’oeuvres. I felt at once that I didn’t neccessarily fit in among the people who make more in a week than I do in a year. But I had fun putting on a show (or at least not trying to look really stupid or embarrass Leila, or myself, in front of her soon-to-be coworkers)

And third, the two most common gifts for the white elephant gift exchange that we did (there were about 20 people there) were condoms and bottles of wine. I don’t really know how to reconcile those two, but I am thankful that I didn’t end up with either.

Regardless, I had a fun time, and while Leila’s new coworkers might be a strange mix of eccentric, sophisticated, and crazy, they were a good group of people and knew how to have a good time. I’m sure she will have a great experience working there and grow to love these people!

I love Christmas parties… Christmas parties for work, Christmas parties for church, Christmas parties for the Card-nite gang, and on and on! They are great. And only slightly less great is the wonder that is the White Elephant Christmas gift game, IT’S THE FASTEST-GROWING-CHRISTMAS-GAME-SENSATION, and it has become like some kind of plague, I mean phenomenon, around here!

In case you aren’t aware, the idea of the game is that everyone brings a “gift” to the party, and it’s usually something that you previously owned, or found in your house, or something funny or ridiculous, and depending on how you play the game, it could even be generous or special.

So in honor of this holiday favorite, here is

The Top 10 White Elephant Gifts No One Wants to End Up With:
10. The bad Christmas gift you got from your Great Aunt Nancy last year.
9. The shirt that used to fit you, in ninth grade.
8. A chia pet.
7. An inner tube, with a hole in it.
6. A set of batteries, dead ones.
5. An old barbie doll, with no head.
4. A tube of Hemmorhoid cream.
3. A picture of your Mom from the Eighties.
2. Anything that you found in your bathroom, or that at any time in the past resided there.

and the NUMBER 1 White Elephant Gifts No One Wants to End Up With IS:

1. A handwritten coupon redeemable at any time for me to eat over at your house for a week.

In more than one sense, next week will be the beginning of winter for me. First, according to the smart people who know all about the Sun and what a solstice is next week (December 21) will be “when the Sun is at its greatest distance from the celestial equator, the great circle on the celestial sphere that is on the same plane as the earth’s equator” - infoplease.com

But second, and more meaningful, is that next week (Dec. 18) will mark my return to non-tropical weather after 20 months of living in Summer. It will be my return to a place where it is normal to see your breath, scrape the ice off your windshield every morning, wear 5 layers of clothes, build fires inside your house, throw snowballs, drink hot chocolate, and turn on the heat in your house all day long.

I look forward to my return to Winter, but also to my return to my family and friends in Maryland, since last year I didn’t get to spend the holidays with them. It’s just not the same to spend Christmas away from your family.

Anyway, if you are in Maryland from Dec 18 - Dec 31, I would love to see you so get in touch with me and maybe we can do some fun Winter activities together!

Headlines:

Leila Visits!

Holidays at Home

Almost Famous

Headlines:

The craziest people I know

Adjusting to a new lifestyle

Church hunting

If you didn’t know, I write a letter each month and send it to lots of people.

But there are probably many people who are not on my mailing list (snail mail or email), so I figured I would pop them on my blog in JPG form (typically I email them in PDF, so let me know if you want me to email you the PDF)

Here is September’s update. The others will follow.

Headlines:

Finally in Florida!

Mean Jeanne Storms the Scene

I’m Lovin’ It

November 22, Hurricane Leila blew into town, and left 8 days later, Nov 30th (the last day of hurricane season). Leila came to visit me in Florida and it was great! God provided a place for her to stay (And it worked out well because one of my coworkers needed someone to watch their house and dog while they were out of town!) The best part about her being here is that we got to do all the things that we can’t do long-distance, like take walks, watch movies together, go dancing, and go out to dinner. It was great to spend some real face-to-face time with her. I think we are a lot closer now after spending the week together (especially since we have been dating for almost 3 months and have spent more than 2 months of that apart!)

Oh yeah, blog-readers, sorry for being so silent in November. I guess I didn’t feel like blogging much or just didn’t make time for it! I think November was a hard month. Part of the reason I have not blogged much in November is because I haven’t really been taking much time to think or reflect, and when I don’t do that, I have very little to write about. Sometimes when we are struggling within ourselves, we don’t necessarily feel like opening up to others. When I am so disgusted by my own sin and struggle it is easy to feel scared to write about it because I don’t want others to see the badness or struggle inside me. I apologize for not keeping you in my life so much this last month. I’m hoping to pick back up in full-force again with my blog! You can start reading again if you took a break with me!

I like to think that we can learn from each other - that God is always teaching each one of us something, and that we should take advantage of that, and try to learn what we can from each other.

Last night I visited a home group with Metro Life church here in Orlando. Besides the people being a really friendly and fun group of people, I really appreciated their desire to learn from each other. We had a time of sharing, which isn’t too uncommon in Christian small groups, Bible Studies, church groups, etc… BUT it was exceptionally beneficial because the goal was to learn from each other, or to teach each other from the little things that maybe through some normal, every-day circumstance, God is teaching us.

When the home group leader Rich introduced this time, I was eagerly inching forward in my chair, ready to share something. Even though it was my first visit to this home group, and I had not known anyone there for more than 15 minutes, I was so excited because that is something I love doing!

So I shared with the home group how I have recently become a “blogger” and try to write regularly about the little things that pop out in the course of every-day life where God is trying to teach me something, or I just realize something amazing. First I had to explain what “blog” is to the people there who aren’t necessarily as nerdy as me. I’m sure everyone has heard them talking about “the bloggers” on CNN though during the election coverage! “Bloggers” are normal people, who just happen to have an online journal for others to read, and aren’t necessarily famous or connected to politics. Eventually I shared the story about the speeding incident and what I learned from it. And it was a great time to share with others the little things I have learned about myself!

I’m so glad I went to that home group! I felt like people were happy that I was there and were excited to get to know me. I had many wonderful conversations with members of the home group later and stayed til almost 11 just talking with my new friends! I look forward to many wonderful times of fellowship and relationship with these people in the coming months! Thanks God!

Isn’t it cool that God can use anyone to speak to us! Even a “blogger” like me!

I watched the movie 8 Mile tonight and also happened upon this video “Mosh” by Eminem and that got me thinking about Eminem. I have a few thoughts I would like to share about rap music and also about Eminem and our culture..

First off, I want to let you know that I LOVE rap, hip-hop, whatever-you-wanna-call-it music. But please understand that I love rap music as a GENRE, not necessarily all the rap artists out there. Rap is a very relevant, and powerful medium to connect with this generation. If you don’t believe me, just go to any high school or college and open your ears. Listen to what kids are bouncin’ to in their ghetto-fabulous souped up rides. Go to any city (even suburb) in the United States and walk down the street. Turn on MTV, VH1, or BET. You’ll see it. You’ll hear it.

Now that we agree, let me tell you why the hip-hop world is in an interesting position. A majority of the hip-hop world is rapping about lies, and a reality that doesn’t exist beyond the boundaries of their music video set. They talk about women, sex, money, and livin’ the ganster lifestyle. They act like they are invincible, but they are a joke. And for the most part, their influence on young people today is this: they teach them that they should live for money, women, sex, cars, whatever. They tell them that these things will make them happy and that will be satisfied to the fullest. Lies. Lies. Lies.

Eminem is the best selling artist right now, and I’m not surprised why. He is an amazingly talented artist and he raps about a lot of controversial things. What scares me is that he is also telling/selling these same lies, and people are listening. Even when I was in North Africa, so many of my North African friends would tell me they loved Eminem (although to their credit, they had no idea what he was saying… they just appreciate his talent).

What the world needs is someone with the talent equal to Eminem, but with the power of the Holy Spirit inside him and the truth of the Word of God in his head and lyrics. They need to hear the truth. They need to be told that the stuff they hear is a lie. They need to see that Jesus is love, and not some joke. They need to see that at the end it’s not their women, money, or cars that will save them.

There are a few (The Cross Movement, Mase, and others) but they aren’t reaching the people that listen to Eminem yet, or at least not in the way that they could or need to. I don’t know what it will take, but I know that somebody needs to reach these people for Jesus using hip-hop music, and it probably won’t be me. They wouldn’t listen to or respect me, and I’m a poor rapper (but I can beatbox pretty well). I respect Mase for what he’s doing, although skill wise, he can’t touch Eminem. (Check out the coming Nov/Dec issue of Relevant Magazine for an interview with Mase where he talks about his calling to reach the hip-hop scene for Christ.)

Anyway, those are some of my thoughts about the influence of the hip-hop scene and the need for representing the affluence of the Most High King.

You gotta let ‘em know. Hold it down. Keep it real.

Peace out.

I saw this mock advertisement while browsing the latest news and thought it was pretty hilarious!

In case you didn’t hear about it, Ashlee Simspon, one of the MTV favorites these days, totally screwed up SNL this weekend. She was lip-syching to her song “Pieces of Me” (which is so terrible because it’s supposed to be Saturday Night LIVE!) and when she began her performance they were playing the vocal track to some other song while her live band played the right one! So after a 10-15 seconds of looking like a total idiot, lip syncing to the wrong song, SNL cut to a commercial so they could get her in-sync.

Anyway, keep your eyes out for the iPod Ashlee Simpson Karaoke Edition!

I got an email from Carissa, one of my STINT team members last year, and she told me that the little brother of a North African guy and girl I had met once (visited their house once for lunch) had a dream about me. Carissa had gotten a letter from the older brother and sister, who she had gotten to know pretty well last year. In the letter the older brother asked if he could contact me because he wanted to ask me about the dream his little brother had about me. He wanted to understand it. I guess he wants me to interpret it for him!

Wow! I feel like I’m some kind of Bible character or something, being asked to interpret dreams! This is crazy. I never imagined that the Lord would give the little brother of a guy a met once a dream about me a year after I had left!

I am very excited to see what comes of this, and how the Lord might use me and this dream to bring this family closer to faith in Him! I will let you know when I hear from him!

Friday afternoon, I was coming home from work. Happy as can be, glad the week of work was done.

About 5 minutes out of HQ, I get pulled over by a motorcycle cop because he didn’t like how fast I was going.

I won’t go into specifics, but I was definitely speeding. So he comes to talk to me and asks me the unanswerable: “What made you speed like that? What were you thinking about?” Feeling very humbled and a little frightened about the consequences, I just replied with a straight forward answer, “I’m not sure.”

I mean, really, how many of us drive around thinking about how we want to speed and break the law and get caught? None of us. We just drive, until we see a cop car, and then start to think, “Oh, maybe I’m going too fast, I should slow down.” And we do, for about 1 minute until the cop is not in sight!

So, thankfully, he just pleaded with me to, “Think about what you’re doing and slow down,” and didn’t give me a ticket.

But he did make me think. It worked. The fact that I can’t easily NOT speed, says something about my character. Am I controlled by my car? Or maybe it’s my schedule? Either way, if I can’t have enough self-control to obey the traffic laws of Florida, how well do I think I’m doing in obeying the laws of an Almighty God? Sure, we aren’t under law, but under grace, but God still wants us to be obedient and submitting ourselves to His authority and will.

And how am I supposed to have an effective witness to an unbelieving world, if I am not above reproach and without self-control?? God wants me to be blameless before the world, so that they may have no grounds to accuse me of any wrongdoing, or deny the reality of my faith and my God.

So I decided, in order to regain some of my credibility and character, to attempt to not speed for one week. This will be a true test of character. I’ll let you know how it goes and what I learn about myself and others at the end of the week!

Tonight, we had a great thunderstorm, finally! I was waiting for one. At 10pm, I went out to the back porch to catch the show, and it was a good one!

There was a ton of thunder and lightning. I love thunderstorms. While they are really wild and powerful, I feel really calm when I am watching one. I actually like to cheer and scream for the brightest flashes and loudest crashes. I love how something that can be so frightening can also be so exciting and calming.

Today, I didn’t go to the office because our team was helping 2 of the ladies on our team, Anna and Tina, move to their new apartment. Their places were both messed up beyond repair by the Hurricanes, but God provided an apartment for them to share while their new places are being built in a new development.

Anyway, we had a great day, moving all their furniture and stuff out of the storage units and into a HUGE truck, and out again at the new place (AND UP THE STAIRS)! They bought us lunch and we had a good time bonding as a team and loving each other! It was great to be able to serve Anna and Tina in that way!

It was an interesting weekend, to say the least!

On Friday night, after hanging out with some people over here until about midnight, I wandered out to the back porch, and I heard a strange sound. It sounded like rain, beating against the leaves of a tree. But I looked around, and it wasn’t raining. So I was a little confused.

So I left the porch and walked towards my neighbor’s house, and to my shock there was a stream of water shooting 15 feet into the air beneath the tree behind her house!

WOW! This was like Moses and the burning bush! I was witnessing some kind of act of God. Maybe He was trying to tell me something. “Scott, don’t drink so much soda.” No I kind of doubt He would appear in a fountain-tree just to tell me that. So anyway, maybe it was just a broken pipe.

Eventually the guys came out and we all gave our oh-so-educated opinions about what we thought was going on (although of course we knew nothing) and we woke up our neighbor to let her know what was going on.

The fire department came and said they couldn’t do anything, so we headed to bed after having a few laughs with the firemen about having our own fountain for the night, the lake disappearing and other bad jokes that we could think of that seemed relavent to the situation.

I was kind of hoping it would still be going when I got up in the morning (so I could get a good picture), but it was done, maybe it ran out all the water from wherever it was coming from. Anyway, it was an exciting midnight adventure for all who were present.

Well, another Sunday, another church visited. For the first time really, I’m church shopping, and as the women reading might understand, it’s a lot like shoe shopping! Now, don’t start thinking I’m a wierdo or a girlie-man just yet. There’s a little reason to my goofy conclusion.

What is it about shoe shopping that makes it so tricky? I mean, for me, it’s tough because I don’t always know exactly what I want. Also, I have to try some shoes on before you buy a pair to make sure I get a good fit and a comfortable shoe. And I usually don’t buy the first shoe I try on, so that means it will take some time and patience, finding the shoe I want, that fits, and that I like, and meets my needs (like a tennis shoe, dress shoe, or work boot, etc…).

Church shopping seems a little bit similar to me. The first thing that makes it difficult is that there are so many of them, especially in Florida! I could spend my year going to a different church every Sunday! Also, they are all trying to meet the same need. For the most part, every church I have visited is worshipping God on Sunday, and is teaching truth and Gospel, and wants to see people believe and grow in Christ.

So it’s kind of hard to pick one, based on some of those things. It’s more about feelings for me (which is pretty unusual if you know me, the unemotional guy that I am!) I am going to visit a few more churches and pick one that I feel comfortable in; one where the people make me feel welcome, and where I feel like I want to be a part of their ministry. That might sound a little superficial, but I am most concerned with finding a church where I will really grow, and I know that will be one where I feel comfortable and safe, not one where the people or environment makes me scared to open up, get involved, or be myself.

Well, next week I’m off to another church!

Hey, if the shoes fits….

Success is a funny thing. Everyone, including Donald Trump, thinks they know what it takes to be successful. The problem is, they aren’t all right.

It’s obvious from watching even one episode of “The Apprentice”, that the aspiring apprentices don’t think that humility is a characteristic that is necessary if you want to be successful. If they do, they don’t show it, because they are a bunch of huge egos walking around bashing each other because they HAVE to be right!

I think it’s sad. Unfortunately, their mentor, Donald Trump probably doesn’t have an ounce of humility in him either. He would probably say that humility is weakness, and that you won’t make it in the business world if you are weak. If they are trying to emulate Trump, they are doing a great job in the area of pride.

On the positive side, “The Donald” does seem to value leadership and teamwork, which are great things, crucial to success. But, I think that he needs to realize that the best leader is one that is able to humble himself before his team, and be kind, yet cast a strong vision for the team, and motivate them to action.

Also, a leader has to relate to people with kindness and gentleness, (show a balance of grace and truth, if you will). This is why Pamela was fired. She does have some good leadership skills of organization, delegation, and decisiveness, but ultimately, she doesn’t know how to treat people. If you are going to work as a team, you have to get along, and agree to put aside your differences and forgive each other for the sake of accomplishing your goals. NOT ONCE, has anyone on the show “The Apprentice” apologized to a team member for treating them wrongly, or for making a mistake.

The only one who showed an ounce of humility was Bradford, and he got fired for it. He decided to waive his immunity in the boardroom, to show his team that he was as much a part of the failure as they were (even though he did a good job, and their failure wasn’t his fault). But Donald saw that as a stupid move, not the humble, bold, courageous, and honorable one that is really was.

Donald, doesn’t know what success is. He might be “successful” in the cut-throat, selfsih, greedy business world, but in reality, in life, he will be a failure unless he learns humility.

1 Samuel 2:7 - “The LORD sends poverty and wealth; he humbles and he exalts.”

Matthew 23:12 - “For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.”

Isaiah 2:11 - “The eyes of the arrogant man will be humbled and the pride of men brought low; the LORD alone will be exalted in that day.”

I finished “Blue Like Jazz” tonight, and the topic of the last chapter was very relevant to me. The title was “Jesus”, but it was about love.

He starts out with a story:

A guy I know named Alan went around the country asking ministry leaders questions. He went to successful churches and asked the pastors what they were doing, why what they were doing was working. It sounded very boring except for one visit he made to a man named Bill Bright, the president of a big ministry [actually, Campus Crusade for Christ!] Alan said he was a big man, full of life, who listened without shifting his eyes. Alan asked a few questions. I don’t know what they were, but as a final question he asked Dr. Bright what Jesus meant to him. Alan said Dr. Bright could not answer the question. He sad Dr. Bright just started to cry. He sat there in his big chair behind his big desk and wept.

When Alan told that story I wondered what it was like to love Jesus that way. I wondered, quite honestly, if that Bill Bright guy was just nuts or if he really knew Jesus in a personal way, so well that he would cry at the very mention of His name. I knew then that I would like to know Jesus like that, with my heart, not just my head. I felt like that would be the key to something.

This role model in our ministry, Dr. Bright, although he passed away last year, really loved Jesus! Now He loves Him in body as well as spirit!

I got to thinking about myself, and I had a hard time imagining myself crying just at someone asking me a question. Unless the question was something like, “Do you want me to punch you in the face or kick you in the groin?” and even then I might not cry, just run away.

But anyway, I really feel like I have a hard time having a love relationship with Jesus. I am not saying I just want to have some emotional high or anything like that, as much as I don’t have a deep love in my heart for Jesus like Bill Bright did, and like I want to.

I see the same thing in my relationship with my girlfriend Leila, but it’s even harder with Jesus. For example, if Leila were to call my cell phone at a time when, for whatever reason, I didn’t feel like talking, I would talk anyway. I just can’t hang up. I talk regardless of how I am feeling. But it’s easy to feel like Jesus never calls, I have to call Him. Or maybe He calls alot and I just like hanging up on Him.

I mean, I know He is always there, but it’s hard to love Him when you can’t see Him. I think my relationship with Leila and my relationship with Jesus as being pretty similar right now. While I know Jesus is with me always, He’s Immanuel, God with us, but it seems more like long distance to me, just like my relationship with Leila.

And I feel like I struggle in the same ways in my relationship with both of them. It is hard to not just think about myself in relationship. It’s hard to make time to spend with the other person. It’s hard to be real and vulnerable.

(Ironically, it seems so easy to be these things on this blog, because it’s not as personal as the phone or in person conversation… I feel more safe hiding behind this digital curtain like some kind of extremely nerdy Wizard of Oz)

But there are two things that comfort me and strengthen me:
1) Jesus loves me
2) Jesus is committed to me and will never leave me or give up on me

And so I guess if I were to realize just how much Jesus actually loves me, it would be a lot easier to love him. I bet that Dr. Bright loved Jesus so much because he felt so loved by Him! Maybe I will start praying about and looking for all the ways that Jesus loves me and is loving me and showing me love each day!

And, in a more human way, Leila does these things too, and so that encourages me to love back!

Later in the chapter Donald Miller says:

I think the most important thing that happens within Christian spirituality is when a person falls in love with Jesus.

I want to fall in love! I don’t feel like I am right now. I want to be though! I want to cry at the mention of a name! I want to long for more each day! I yearn for the joy of knowing each day I am so fully loved!

I was talking to Leila the other day and we got into a discussion about computer memory because I recently ordered some for my laptop. I spent about 20 minutes on the phone explaining all this nerdy stuff about computer performance, memory, CPUs, and hard disks. She probably didn’t want to hear it all, but she got an earful of techno geek babble.

Anyway, the reason I felt like blogging about this is not because I was surprised that she didn’t already completely understand how computers work, because most people don’t. (She could probably talk to me about legal issues for 20 minutes and I wouldn’t understand any more than what I know from my “Matlock”, Law & Order“ watching experience and from what I have read in 2 or 3 Grisham novels.)

The reason is because I re-discovered something about myself(that I think I already knew, but I thought maybe you might like to know) I really love talking about computers, especially explaining how they work to people who don’t know. For whatever reason, that’s just something that gets me excited and passionate. So if you have a question, feel free to ask me, because it would bring much joy to tell you anything about computers that you want to know!

I was talking to Leila the other day and we got into a discussion about computer memory because I recently ordered some for my laptop. I spent about 20 minutes on the phone explaining all this nerdy stuff about computer performance, memory, CPUs, and hard disks. She probably didn’t want to hear it all, but she got an earful of techno geek babble.

Anyway, the reason I felt like blogging about this is not because I was surprised that she didn’t already completely understand how computers work, because most people don’t. (She could probably talk to me about legal issues for 20 minutes and I wouldn’t understand any more than what I know from my “Matlock”, Law & Order” watching experience and from what I have read in 2 or 3 Grisham novels.)

The reason is because I re-discovered something about myself(that I think I already knew, but I thought maybe you might like to know) I really love talking about computers, especially explaining how they work to people who don’t know. For whatever reason, that’s just something that gets me excited and passionate. So if you have a question, feel free to ask me, because it would bring much joy to tell you anything about computers that you want to know!

I was privileged enough to spot one of the locals hanging around the lake
out back. He was creeping around the side of the pond and snagging little
bites to eat from out of the water. I watched him for a little while and
snapped a few photos. Anyway, add one more to the collection of local
wildlife in our backyard!

(Originally posted on my other blog: reflections on September 21st.)

Well, this is going to be my first blog entry exposing my true nature, my hidden self, my real identity: the nerd.

My new roomates (John Boggs and Damien Brooks) recently got pretty excited about the new release of the Star Wars (A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi) DVD set. Never before released on DVD, this was an exciting day for big geeks like Boggsy and Damien! They celebrated all day by playing the new Star Wars video game that was released today along with the DVDs, and I celebrated with them by watching some of A New Hope (Part 4 of the 6 movie series) during dinner. It was great.

You might not think I am such a nerd at this point. But if you are still willing to read on, I will explain why I am such a nerd. I love my Macintosh computer! And every day, I get teased, ribbed, made fun of, whatever you want to call it, by all the PC weenies at work who don’t realize what they are missing out on, when I bring my beautiful Powerbook G4 into work and sit it at my desk next to that ugly Dell.

But tonight I found something to brag about, so I figured I would at least put it in my blog so that maybe if my coworkers are browsing around and come across my blog, they will be a bit more educated about Macs and how great they are.

Apparently, the company that refurbished the old Star Wars movies used 600!!! PowerMac G5 computers to do all the editing and mastering and cleaning up of the old film copies of the original film versions!

So if you enjoy the new Star Wars DVDs at home, spare me the next morning of jokes about how my Mac is worthless, and we’ll just be friends and just get along.

http://www.starwars.com/episode-iv/feature/20040916/index.html

And to top it off, I saw another article about how they used Macs to bring several new films to life as well!

http://www.macworld.com/news/2004/09/20/dvd/index.php

Now that Jeanne is gone, I am happy again, and the weather is nice again!

As you can tell from the picture, the day after Jeanne (Monday) was beautiful!! The sun came out and it didn’t rain all day. I didn’t really go outside much, but it was a great day to go outside!

Headquarters lost power yesterday, so I stayed home today and played catch up on some things: financial support, sleeping, talking on Instant Messenger. Ha ha ha.

By the way, if you use AOL Instant Messenger you can feel free to send me a little message at ScottyP08. If you don’t use it, you should so head on over to http://www.aim.com and download it (for free), create a screen name, and THEN send me a message!

See ya around! Hopefully I will be back at work soon! I like my job!

After the mandatory curfew was lifted at 5pm last night (the day of the Hurricane) my roomates and I went out to survey the damage around eastern Orange county. The worst we saw was some lakes where there weren’t normally lakes (even though there are lakes everywhere around here anyway!)
and some trees down.

This is a picture of a fallen palm tree in front of the Waterford Lakes town center movie theater.

Nothing was open, so after driving around a little while, we returned home to eat some food and watch more TV.

The picture is of the lake in our backyard. The level of the lake is way up and the trees around it are being blown around by the powerful 80+ MPH wind gusts.

I am actually writing this in the middle of Hurricane Jeanne! It is 11 am on Sunday morning and I am sitting on the floor outside my room (where I slept last night). It is crazy here!

All night as I slept I could hear the wind buffeting the windows and howling in between buildings. I could hear the rain splatting against the windows and the metal top of our screened in porch. It was a little creepy.

That and the fact that I abandoned my room for the floor right outside the door made it a very strange night! I slept in the hall and moved all my furniture away from the windows, just in case something bad happened like the windows being blown in (and wind and rain going everywhere.)

There is a mandatory curfew until 5pm, so I won’t be going anywhere today, and hopefully, I will have power all day so I can continue to watch TV and surf the net while I wait out the storm! If you see me online (AIM: ScottyP08), let’s chat! I have nothing else to do!

Saturday night, before the storm hit. There were some incredible looking clouds moving. A set of low lying clouds were moving more quickly below some higher ones, and it was right at sunset, so it looked really awesome!

I feel like I went from the dryest place on earth to the wettest, both physically and spiritually.

What got me thinking about this is when I was talking on the phone to Leila tonight, I mentioned to her “There is so much life here!” and went on to describe the lizards in our back yard, the sea turtle in the pond behind our house, and the tropical birds I saw walking into the building from the parking lot at Crusade HQ yesterday!

In North Africa, it was so dry, there weren’t a ton of plants everywhere, and it didn’t rain much at all. And spiritually, the people were lost in their lies and had no idea who the Living Water is.

But here in Florida, there is life everywhere. There is so much water everywhere, it seems like things jut come to life! Also, there are Christians everywhere! I see more Jesus-fish on cars then I have ever seen! More beleivers work within 100 yards of me than exist in all of North Africa! I’m swimming in a sea of life here!

But strangely enough, I still feel thirsty. I still long for a more abundant life than I am experiencing. And it’s still a struggle, even though I live around people, who, I assume, are also pursuing the same exact thing!

Maybe Florida and North Africa aren’t so different, or maybe they are and it’s just me that hasn’t changed.

Well, this is going to be my first blog entry exposing my true nature, my hidden self, my real identity: the nerd.

My new roomates (John Boggs and Damien Brooks) recently got pretty excited about the new release of the Star Wars (A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi) DVD set. Never before released on DVD, this was an exciting day for big geeks like Boggsy and Damien! They celebrated all day by playing the new Star Wars video game that was released today along with the DVDs, and I celebrated with them by watching some of A New Hope (Part 4 of the 6 movie series) during dinner. It was great.

You might not think I am such a nerd at this point. But if you are still willing to read on, I will explain why I am such a nerd. I love my Macintosh computer! And every day, I get teased, ribbed, made fun of, whatever you want to call it, by all the PC weenies at work who don’t realize what they are missing out on, when I bring my beautiful Powerbook G4 into work and sit it at my desk next to that ugly Dell.

But tonight I found something to brag about, so I figured I would at least put it in my blog so that maybe if my coworkers are browsing around and come across my blog, they will be a bit more educated about Macs and how great they are.

Apparently, the company that refurbished the old Star Wars movies used 600!!! PowerMac G5 computers to do all the editing and mastering and cleaning up of the old film copies of the original film versions!

So if you enjoy the new Star Wars DVDs at home, spare me the next morning of jokes about how my Mac is worthless, and we’ll just be friends and just get along.

http://www.starwars.com/episode-iv/feature/20040916/index.html

And to top it off, I saw another article about how they used Macs to bring several new films to life as well!

http://www.macworld.com/news/2004/09/20/dvd/index.php

I am typing this from my hotel room at a Sleep Inn in Savannah, Georgia. I drove from my grandparents house on Lake Gaston in North Carolina this morning, and will stay the night here and drive to Orlando tomorrow morning.

The great thing about hotels these days is the high-speed, wireless Internet access! I am so glad I have a laptop!

It was an easy drive today, and I was on the road from about 9am to about 4pm with a few stops for stretching my legs, eating lunch, calling Leila to talk to her because TODAY is her BIRTHDAY!!

Well, that’s all for now. I’m gonna go chill by the pool, grab some food, watch TV, surf the Internet a little, or sleep!

Orlando or bust!

Yesterday Leila and I went to the Inner Harbor to celebrate her birthday (which is next Friday) . It was a great time!

The highlight of the date was our visit to the Aquarium to see tons of cool fishies! I can’t learn about all those fish without thinking about how God made them all so perfectly. They are able to swim and eat and hide in all the ways they need to to survive. I especially like some of the special fish like the rockfish (who actually looks like a rock on the bottom of the ocean) and the stickfish (who looks like some kind of stick or plant, not a fish) and the fish that only has one fin but swims just right by controlling the rippling motion down his one long fin that runs the length of his body!

It’s amazing! I don’t know how someone could spend an afternoon at a place like the aquarium and not beleive that God created the earth and everything in it! He did such a great job!

So while I thanked God and appreciated His creation of the fish, I was even more thankful that He made Leila so great and beautiful and perfect 23 years ago! That was something to celebrate and we had a great time doing it downtown in Baltimore!

Something that happened to Leila and I tonight helped me realize something pretty exciting!

We were hanging out with Jocie and Ethan, and after watching a movie together, we went for a walk around Ethan’s suburban development ( a fairly large one ) and walked for a long while. The whole time Jocie and Ethan were like 50 yards ahead of us, but we could mostly see them due to the street lights.

But at one point we looked up and realized that somehow they had gotten far enough ahead of us and it was dark enough on the street we were on that we couldn’t see them and didn’t know how far ahead of us they were! We had some idea of where we were, but because we had been following them the whole time, and because we aren’t familiar with the development (a rather large and complicated one) we weren’t sure exactly where they had gone. We were lost. (In suburban Maryland, nonetheless!)

We walked a bit further and took some guesses at a road to take (we found one that looked like a major road that would lead back to the central area where his townhouse is located) but that ended up taking us all the way around in a big circle, back to where we had originally lost them (or been left behind).

At one point along our big loop, I did stop a car to ask him if he could give us an idea of where we were, but he didn’t live in the development and had no idea where we might need to go. I didn’t have the heart to ring anyone’s doorbell to ask for directions (it was around midnight and all the houses looked dark) After the big circle back to a main highway though, we did have a little better idea of where to go (the long way back). So we just kept walking.

Eventually, Jocie and Ethan, who had made it back to Ethan’s house with no problem, came looking for us in Ethan’s car after waiting for us further up the road, and trying to call my cell phone to no avail. (We had left everything important or that might have been remotely helpful at the house: car keys with the keyring flashlight and cell phones, because I probably said to myself as we walked out the door “why do I need those things just to take a walk around the neighborhood??” )

Thankfully, our friends loved us enough to come seeking for us and bring us home in the car.

But as I was talking to Leila about this afterwards, it came to me that this situation very much reminds me of the human situation. We are all born lost and remain lost for some time in our life, and sadly some are never found. (although humanity is lost by its’ own choice, it wasn’t left behind, and it wasn’t an accident) Like us, humanity is lost and get itself found. Many of the other people around us (like the man in the car in our situation) are also “lost” or at least couldn’t lead us to the right path. And it’s dark, lonely, and a little bit scary.

Leila and I were so thankful to see the headlights of Ethan’s car pull up in the darkness and the friendly voices reaching to us from the car; greeting us and offering a nice ride home. Similarly, as a Christian, I should be so thankful that God, the light, loved me enough to passionately pursue me in the darkness and to rescue me from a situation I couldn’t get myself out of - my sinful, fallen, lost self. If Leila and I had kept walking around we would have eventually found our way I’m sure, but in this spiritual analogy, I believe, humans cannot find their way without God “pulling up in the Car of Grace to drive us down the Road of Salvation.”

If you haven’t thanked God recently for finding you in the darkness and bringing you out, just go ahead and do it right now with me! THANKS GOD!

1 Peter 2:9-10 “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. ”

If you are still lost, pray and ask God to come find you and bring you home. Although Jocie and Ethan couldn’t hear us calling out for them because they were too far away, God is never too far away to hear you cry out to Him (He’s everywhere)! So go ahead. He wants to bring you home. He knows you are lost.

Psalm 107:4-9
“ Some wandered in desert wastelands,
finding no way to a city where they could settle.
They were hungry and thirsty,
and their lives ebbed away.
Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress.
He led them by a straight way
to a city where they could settle.
Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for men,
for he satisfies the thirsty
and fills the hungry with good things.”

Well, because of Hurricanes Frances and Ivan, my departure for Florida is a bit delayed. I am staying for a bit longer until things look better down there. Maybe I will leave next Monday. Who knows?

While the rain and wind might be down in Florida, up here there is Hurricane Leila! I am liking Hurricane Leila. She’s making things exciting in my life right now!

But I am torn between being here and being there. I am excited to go and start working with the IT Team and doing some programming, but I am really enjoying spending time with Leila here in MD, and being together for a bit longer will be really nice. I hate to get so much joy out of a situation that many people are suffering through, but I’ll take it as a blessing from God.

It will be hard to be gone and away from her. Thankfully, I know God has a plan for us, and it is the best thing possible for both of us, even though it might not seem like it right now!

Well, big news in my life this week! I have a girlfriend! Her name is Leila! (pronounced “lee-la”)

When I came home this summer I didn’t plan on meeting a really wonderful girl who I like alot right before leaving for Florida! For the last 7 years, I have never had a serious relationship with any girl, and I have been on only a few dates, so this is something pretty new to me. But it is so exciting!

Although it is exciting and fun, it has also been challenging to me. I have learned that I am a very selfish person, by nature, and I have to fight that sinful nature and let the Spirit enable me to love her unselfishly! Let’s just say I do a lot of praying these days!

I am not sure where it’s going but I am ready for whatever God has for us! It’s going to be an exciting adventure!

Well, I’m leaving this week for Florida. And I couldn’t be more excited, and sad. Ha! You probably think I’m a bit insane.

Well the exciting part is this: God provided just about all my support in a little over 4 weeks! That is amazing! We are talking more than THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!! (As of Monday night, I was at 98%) And I am ready to get down there and start working with Crusade as a programmer!

The sad part is this: I have to leave Maryland, where my family and all my new friends are. I have been blessed to gain some awesome new friends this summer — Ethan, Leila, Ted, and Andy, and get closer to some old ones, Jocie (my twin, of course), Aaron, Josh, Amy, Lori, Matt, and Melody! I am not happy about leaving them, although thankfully they are almost all a free phone call away ANYTIME thanks to the good people at Verizon.

Anyway, right now it looks like I will be leaving Friday, to get down there Sunday evening to relax for Labor Day on Monday and then start work on Tuesday!

God is so awesome! He provided for all my needs financially, and I know that even though it will be tough to leave my friends, He will continue to provide for ALL my needs in this way too this year!

I watched About A Boy last night, because I bought it this week, because Scott mentioned it in his sermon on Sunday, and I wanted to see it again. It was SO worth it!

Will, is the main character in the movie (played by Hugh Grant), and at the beginning describes himself as “an island” and describes how he really beleives his life is a whole lot better off without other people to complicate things. And how he fills his time up with meaningless things to keep himself busy and happy (he thinks). He does “nothing” and lives off the royalties of a hit Christmas song his dead father wrote.

But in the climactic scene near the end, which captures the heart of this story, Will has rushed to the school concert to stop Marcus (a 12 year old kid who he has unfortunately become attached to) from singing a solo (where he will be “committing social suicide”) because he has, to his own surprise, discovered that there is extreme joy to be found in making other people happy, not just trying to make yourself happy.

So while Will is trying to convince Marcus to not sing this potentially humiliating song for his own sake, this 12 year old boy challenges this 38 year old boy (and by the way, I’m not sure whether the title “About a Boy” is referring to Will or Marcus… maybe both, and that’s the idea) to think about someone other than himself, and resolves to sing it for his mom.

Here is the scene:

“My Mom wants me to sing it. It’ll make her happy.”

“Look Marcus. Mate, nothing you do can make your mom happy. Alright? I mean, not in the long term. She has to do that for herself. … What I’m saying is the important thing is to make yourself feel happy.”

“I’ve tried just making myself happy. She’s tried making herself happy. But it doesn’t work. You need other people to make you happy.”

“But that’s just it! If other people can make you happy, they can also make you unhappy. You think those people out there [the tough crowd of mocking students] are gonna make you happy?”

[And Marcus steps out onto the stage to sing]

After a short time, Will rescues Marcus from his classmates who had begun tearing Marcus to pieces for his loving but poor performance of “Killing Me Softly.” He steps on stage mid-way through the song with a guitar (even though he had claimed earlier in the movie he couldn’t play the fancy guitar he owned) to save the song, boost Marcus’ confidence and hush the booing crowd.

Will had learned a lot from his young friend. Who seemed to have been brought to him, unasked for, when he needed him most to learn something about life.

Just before the school concert scene I described above, Will had crashed. After failing to keep up a lie with his girlfriend, he comes to believe that his life of “doing nothing” meant that he was “nothing” and sees that for the most part his life was meaningless and worthless.

Here’s how he tells it:

“My life is made up of units of time. Buying a CD, 2 units. Eating lunch, 3 units. Exercising, 2 units. All in all, I had a very full life. It’s just that … it didn’t mean anything. The fact was, there was only one thing that meant something to me. Marcus. He was the only thing that meant something to me. And Fiona [Marcus’ mom] was the only thing that meant something to him, and she was about to fall off the edge.”

And so he ventures “off the island” to get Fiona and make sure she is not going to try to committ suicide again (the reason Marcus wants to sing is because Fiona told him earlier in the movie that when he sings it brings joy and happiness to her heart) And Will goes to bring Fiona to the school concert so that they can stop Marcus from singing, but ends up singing with him! He does something for someone else besides himself. He actually makes quite a fool of himself doing it too! But doesn’t seem to care, because helping Marcus brought him so much joy.

He closes the movie with this little monologue, showing his change of heart.

“Every man is an island. I stand by that. But, clearly, some men are part of island chains. Below the surface of the ocean, they’re actually connected.”

And later as he talks with Marcus about the future:

“I’d created a monster. Or maybe he’d created me.”

—–

Here are the main ideas I picked out that I really liked that I felt were being communicated in this story:

1. It shows that we end up more happy if we are committed to making each other happy instead of just ourselves.
2. It shows that a fuller, happier, more meaningful life is one that is lived in giving relationships with others, not alone.
3. It demonstrates that unselfish love is a powerful change agent in people’s lives. In this movie, it changed Marcus, Will, and Fiona in ways that they would have never changed without it.
4. It shows that true love and commitment to someone requires honesty and unselfishness and a willingness to risk being hurt in the hope of feeling loved by them.

—–

Here are my reflections on it:

We were created for relationship. And I believe that, while real, genuine relationship with others heals and changes us, it is only relationship with God, who created us and really knows us, that will change us and heal our wounds completely.

I think I am like Will in more ways than I care to admit. I like to think I’m an island sometimes, that I don’t need others, and that others don’t need me. And that I don’t need God, and that he doesn’t care about me. But I couldn’t be more wrong, and thankfully, just like Marcus in this story, who would come over to Will’s place uninvited all the time, God comes over to my place every day, even though often I don’t invite him. Thankfully, God is not an insecure kid looking for someone to give him some approval and encouragement. He is a loving friend who knows exactly what I need and is ready to provide for my every need!

The question is, why don’t I invite him over more often?

And if you have no relationship with God, why don’t you invite Him in? He wants to know you. He wants to show you the kind of relationship and love that will really heal and change you.

The chapter I read in Blue Like Jazz today was titled “Problems: What I learned on TV” Don goes into how he got a TV and started watching a news magazine program, Nightline. The special on the problems in the Congo gets him thinking about things.

He recounts a revealing conversation he has with his buddy, Tony the Beat Poet. (that’s what he calls him… kinda funny)

“It’s terrible,” I told him. “Two and half million people, dead. In one village they interviewed about fifty or so women. All of them had been raped, most of them numerous times.”
Tony shook his head. “That is amazing. It is so difficult to even process how things like that can happen.”
“I know. I can’t get my mind around it. I keep wondering how people could do things like that.”

[… and then he asks Don the tough question:]

“Do you think you could do something like that, Don?” Tony looked at me pretty seriously. I honestly couldn’t believe he was asking the question.

Don goes on to tell about how he came to grips with the idea that yes, he could do something like that. He is capable of murder, or rape, because he, like you and me, have a sinful nature, that doesn’t want to do good naturally. He struggles over the idea as he joins his friend Andrew the Protestor to protest the president over his support of World Bank and international affairs. He comes to the conclusion that,

“The problem is not a certain type of legislation or even a certain politician; the problem is the same that it has always been. I am the problem.”

He says at the end of the chapter,

“I think Jesus feels strongly about communicating the idea of our brokenness, and I think it is worth reflection. Nothing is going to change in the Congo until you and I figure out what is wrong with the person in the mirror.”

My point was not to try to perfectly recount everything Don said in this chapter but to just get a glimpse of how Don came to reflect on and understand the problem of sin inside himself and saw his brokenness. I thought I would just take this space in the blog to reflect on that. As Don said, it’s worth reflecting on, that’s for sure!

I too feel like Don, I can see the problem inside me, sin. Sin is what is destroying this world. Sin is what brought terrorism, murder, and rape. Thankfully there is one thing that makes me different from the people committing the atrocities in the Congo. I have Jesus living in my heart, bringing life, love, faith, and goodness where sin had previously reigned in anger, hatred, and evil. But it does scare me to think that I am capable of those other things. At any time I could commit one of any number of heinous crimes/sins. It is only love that motivates me to do good. Just like as Don says we have to train children do know right and wrong and do what’s right, I need to be trained by God’s love to do what is good in His sight.

A verse I studied this year with my team in North Africa comes to mind:

Titus 2:11-14 “For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us, that he might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works.”

I pray that God would train me in grace to live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age!

So I have been watching as much of the Olympics as I can lately. I have seen some really exciting stuff. First off is the men’s gymnastics individual all-around competition. Paul Hamm is my freakin hero. If you didn’t see it, he messed up on his vault (the 4th of 6 events). I don’t know if you have watched any gymnastics lately but, you know how the commentators are always like “Well Tina, this one is really important for him tonight. He really needs to stick this landing in order to be in medal contention… blah blah blah.. one step will cost him a tenth of a point in a competition where a thousandth could make the difference… blah blah blah” Well he did WAY MORE THAN TAKE A STEP!!! When he landed after flying through the air and performing several difficult and amazing looking flips and twists, his feet hit the ground and he fell sideways, stepping over the white line, falling off the elevated landing platform in front of the vault, and fell on his butt in front of the judges table. One of the judges actually stuck his hand out to help break his fall.

Well anyway, he was obviously distraught after the vault that scored him a 9.0 “I thought, `That’s it. I’m done,”’ he said. (from SI article above) I mean who wouldn’t have counted him out????

But like a champ, he got back up and gave his best performances of his life on the final two events. He came back to win the gold because of his great scores and the mistakes of his competitors.

This is what he said afterwards: “I’m happy right now. Shocked, actually,” said Hamm, the first American man to win the Olympic all-around. “To be in first place after that kind of mistake, I thought there was no chance to win.” (from SI article)

The way I see it, you and me aren’t all that different from Paul Hamm. We all made a huge mistake in life, and we probably thought that there was no hope, no chance to win. Well thankfully, our judge is a perfectly loving one, and let us pull an unheard-of-substitution, and let another man perform in our place. And thankfully he scored a perfect 10.0 on our behalf.

I’m talking about Jesus. He stepped in when we had no chance to win, and won the gold for us. Earning for us more than a place on the top of the podium, but a place next to the throne of God! Because I trust Jesus for the forgiveness of my sins, I can say like Paul Hamm after winning the gold medal “I’m happy right now. Shocked actually.”

Ephesians 2:4-10 - “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions–it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God– not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. ”

Incomparable Riches…. are much MUCH better than a gold medal!!! Thanks God!

In the first chapter of Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller describes his childhood story, and how he came to feel and understand guilt .. the beginnings of understanding God and knowing Him.

Here’s a little bit of what he says:

“All of this gave way to my first encounter with guilt, which is still something entirely inscrutable to me, as if aliens were sending transmissions from another planet, telling me there is a right and wrong in the universe. … My life had become something to hide; there were secrets in it. My thoughts were private thoughts, my lies were barriers that protected my thoughts, my sharp tongue a weapon to protect the ugly me.”

I feel like I can really relate to his thoughts on guilt. As a kid I was exactly the same way (although I didn’t have the guts to lie) I remember feeling guilt and using my attitude and tongue to hide the person I saw and didn’t like because I felt guilty about my sins.

I think I still do it, and I need to watch out for it. I think especially sometimes with my family, because I don’t always have complete confidence that they will accept me and love me no matter what, I don’t want them to see the ugly me, so I act unkind or defensive. (But ironically, this is ALSO the ugly me!) I really need to understand God’s grace and take the leap of faith to speak lovingly to my family and open up to them even when guilt is trying to make me feel bad. I think this is a trick of Satan. He tries to use guilt to get me to abandon loving community with people.

I am ugly sometimes, but that is not the real me. The real me is forgiven, cleansed, and made beautiful in Jesus. I want them to see the real me.

Blue Like Grace is more like it!

So I got a new book yesterday. I’m really looking forward to reading it. It’s called “Blue Like Jazz” and the author’s name is Donald Miller. I have heard really good things about it from my Missions Pastor, Scott Simmons. It seems like it will teach me things through the use of stories and the author’s reflections on the little things that happen in his life. I’ll try to share some little bits from it as I read it! Maybe you will end up picking it up and reading it!

I guess it’s a little bit like my blog here. I hope that you appreciate the things I learn through life and can grow with me!

Today I slept in because that’s my job. Sleep by day, make phone calls and watch movies by night. HA HA Just kidding, although I am rarely up before 11.

I think I need to pray more because it is really hard for me to believe that God can and will provide another 50% of my support in 2 WEEKS! I know it will happen! But it’s so hard to convince myself sometimes.

Today I watched the newest Adam Sandler movie “50 First Dates”. In this funny but meaningful movie, Lucy, played by Drew Barrymore has lost her short term memory and similar to the characters in “Groundhog Day” or “Memento”, she replays the same day over and over again.

The really interesting thing is when she sees how powerful the love of Henry (Adam Sandler’s character) is. She is blown away by how committed he is to “Making her fall in love with him every day, ” even though he knows she won’t even know who he is the next day.

I kind of see myself as being like “Forgetful Lucy” (as Henry calls her in a sweet made-up love song he sings to her) when it comes to my relationship with God. I think that a lot of times I wake up in the morning and forget all about the things that God has done in my life to make me fall in love with Him. It’s pretty sad, but so awesome that God, like Henry in this movie, is committed to doing it over and over again each day.

I think it’s really great the way that Henry chooses to go about dealing with her problem. Instead of lying to her and playing along with her delusions (like her father and brother have been doing for the past year) he makes a tape (“Good morning Lucy”) for her to watch each day immediately after she wakes up , to tell her the story of her life and remind her who she is and who is important to her. She “renews her mind” each morning with the truth that Henry loves her and that even though she does not remember anything from the last year, it’s OK and it will be a great day.

I think maybe I need a “Good morning Scott” tape from the Lord each day so I don’t so easily forget who I am and who He is. Because just like Lucy the first day after meeting Henry, rejected him and didn’t want anything to do with him (even though they had a great time the day before at breakfast) I often reject God just days, hours, minutes after I am enjoying the greatest times with Him. It’s so pitiful.

But thankfully Lamentations 3:21-24 is true:

This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
“The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,
“Therefore I hope in Him!”

I am so thankful that God never gives up on me and that like Henry, a full and happy life is only the one where He is with me each day. Would I say the same thing: that the only full and happy life for me is the one spent in daily relationship with God!

I guess I would say I really liked 50 First Dates. See it for fun, and if you want, consider the deeper truths that shine through this fun story.

Well, I finally decided to get into this whole BLOG thing. I haven’t done it before, but I know enough to know that everyone and their mother seems to have one, so here goes! I hope you enjoy reading my thoughts and ideas! Come back often!